


A Pair Of Hot Pink Notebooks

by ceisadilla, joaniedark



Series: Mundane High School Levels [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Drug Use, Gen, Just...Teens, Multi, Teen Romance, disturbed teens, teen drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceisadilla/pseuds/ceisadilla, https://archiveofourown.org/users/joaniedark/pseuds/joaniedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mukuro discovers a pair of journals with a horrifying story in them about her and another class under her unpopular sister's bed. After bringing them to one of her friends, they do what any book of names does in a highschool--they circulate around the entire bloody school.</p><p>Non-Despair AU, spoilers for both games.</p><p>Warnings for language, teen sex, and marijuana use. Also snuff fiction. But you read DR so whatever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Teahouse

**Author's Note:**

> So I created this AU thing when Rosa spoiled me to the ending of Dangan Ronpa 2.  
> I was first so bloody angry at everyone in the entire game, then she said how Junko became a virus. And everyone would be her.  
> That was the moment I realized the truth.  
> Dangan Ronpa was the friend fiction of a delusional unpopular girl about all of her classmates.
> 
> As a result, this beautiful, horrible thing was born.

"What. The fuck."

"I know, it's worrying, isn't it?"

"Worrying my butt! Why did she kill me off first?"

Mukuro frowned at Sayaka, who was still staring in disgust at the pink leather book. Her friend's reaction was less concerned than she had imagined it would be. For goodness sake, Mukuro had found two snuff books under her sister's bed. Shouldn't they care about the girl's mental stability more than what order people got killed off?

"I mean, what sort of grudge does she have against me?" Sayaka asked, taking a bite of her shortcake. "I mean...mm...I've never been a jerk to that weirdo."

"She's not a weirdo, she's just...special."

"She thinks she's some sort of fashion icon even though she wears clothes that fit when she was twelve," Sayaka said with an eye roll, "plus she smells funny. I know she’s your sister, but she's not exactly idol material."

"Says the girl who sold 100 copies."

"Wow, harsh."

"Sorry, sorry." Mukuro put her coffee down and sighed. "It's just..."

"I know, she's your sister, you're concerned." Sayaka took a sip of her tea. "So did you tell the school?"

"No, of course not!" Mukuro waved her hand. "...Though, I did tell our parents."

"Oh?"

"They're impressed with her creativity in writing."

"Jeez, something's wrong with that girl."

"Saya--"

"Yeah I know, I know. Hey! Can I show it to the music club?"

"What?" Mukuro asked, taken aback. The blue-haired girl leaned across the polished wooden table, grinning broadly.

"Come on, I want Leon to see it."

"No! What the heck? He'd flip!"

"Naaaah," Sayaka said, rustling through her bag looking for change. "He'd probably just get upset he didn't kill me in a more radical way."

"I suppose Leon isn't the best example of a put-together young man." Mukuro said with a little smile. "He'd say something about how it wasn't «punk rock» enough." She suddenly frowned again.

"That said, I doubt even he would be interested in that dreadful execution. I really am concerned what's wrong, the underlying meaning from her writing this. Is she disturbed? Is she potentially going to be homicidal or suicidal or, or..."

"Mukuro. Mukuro, honey, quiet." Sayaka put her finger to her lips. "You're taking this way out of hand."

"I just don't want to see my little sister going off and shooting the school..."

"Where would Junko get a gun. She can't get weed from Ishimaru."

"She might--"

"He gives it away."

"She--"

"For free."

"...Wait, really?"

"Yeah, tell him you're having trouble studying. He'll pile it on you. The cheap stuff he grows in Hagakure's bathtub, but he swears by it."

"Huh. That's...off topic why are we talking about this."

"Because I figured I could distract you long enough.”

“God, Maizono.”

“Wow, so formal! Come on, we’re friends.” Sayaka grinned. “Are you planning on calling her out to the school nurse? Getting her into counseling or whatever?”

“I’d rather not if I don’t have to.” Mukuro tented her fingers. “I think…I think I should get opinions of some of the others.” Sayaka nodded, moving to the pocket of her jacket in her search.

“I bet that Makoto would be able to say something. Maybe he’s been hanging around her, and that’s why he’s the main character? Oh, god, what if she killed me off because she’s upset I spend so much time with him?”

“I doubt my sister’s in love with him. You should see how she goes on about one of the girls in Class B in the second book.”

“I look forward to reading it.” Sayaka frowned, putting a few coins on the table. "Darn, I only have ¥700. Do you think you could spot the rest?"

"I think you probably owe me ¥20,000 by now from coffee," Mukuro sighed, and Sayaka merely winked.

"Maybe when my CDs sell!" She grabbed her bag and the book. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok? I promise I'll give the book back after the club meetings."

"I didn't say you could--"

"Come on, you can show it to Togami afterwards. He lives until the second book, right?"

"Technically he lives through it all, but that's not the poi--Sayaka, come back!"

"I have to read it all to get all the juicy bits!" Sayaka said with a laugh. "You'll get it after school!"

With that, she was out the door, and Mukuro found herself sighing in resignation with the waitress over her shoulder and her wallet open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week on APoHPN:  
> The Visual Novel Club goes to Comiket!  
> Seventeen year olds buy drugs behind dumpsters!  
> Celestia gets pregnant!  
> Hinata joins the Going Home Club!  
> Komeda is a fucking creep!  
> Togami gets pregnant!  
> Nidai and Sakura take turns deadlifting each other!  
> Teruteru and Leon go to the Roxburry!  
> And much much more!


	2. Hard Music Club

 

"Well, I guess my death is at least the most metal one in here," Leon mused, absentmindedly flipping through the book Sayaka had cheerily trotted into the club with earlier. "I mean, Mondo got turned into butter? What sort of fucking bullshit is that?"  
  
"I'm worried about how I die," Ibuki said, hugging herself as she read sideways over Leon's shoulder.  
  
"You actually get murdered, if I remember correctly," Sayaka said, tapping a finger against her lip. "I didn't really read the second one much."  
  
"Ah, but who would kill Ibuki?"  
  
"Anyone who hears you talk in the third person all the fucking time," Leon muttered, earning him a thwack upside the head with a rolled up guitar book.  
  
"Not funny, Mister."  
  
«Jesus Christ that hurt...»  
  
"Ugh, this isn't English class, speak normal," Sayaka groaned.  
  
"It's not my fault you don't study."  
  
"Yeah, but you fuck up the curve being all foreign and stuff. No wonder I tried to murder you. I wouldn't be failing so bad if you died."  
  
"Don't go killing off your bassist now, Saya-chan."  
  
"I swear to god did you just say chæn."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"It's not pronounced like that you racist idiot."  
  
"«Dudette.» I'm still Japanese, you asshole. That's another thing, why he fuck does she make me a baseball player? Is it just because I'm from California?" Leon held the book out at arms length in disgust. "I've never played baseball in my life. Little League had nothing on AYSO." He pretended to punt the book across the room.  
  
"Racist or not, she's definitely more of a freak than Ibuki realized," Ibuki said, sighing and falling into Leon's lap. "How do you guys deal with having classes with her?"  
  
"She's pretty quiet most of the time, eats in the back of the class alone, even when Mukuro tries to get her to sit with us." Sayaka shrugged. "I highly doubt we have anything to actually worry about with her. She seems happy just off in her little wonderland."  
  
"Mm, I guess." Ibuki started twirling her finger in Leon's hair. "But if she suddenly comes in with a box cutter wanting to slash everyone up, you better come get Ibuki and run away, ok?"  
  
"You two are sickening."  
  
"Go sleep with Naegi," Ibuki quipped, kissing Leon on the cheek. Sayaka turned as red as Leon's hair.  
  
"Makoto and I aren't like that, god, Ibuki..." A couple of first years started giggling across the room. "Oh, go practice, you two."  
  
"But you--"  
  
" _We're_ upperclassmen. _We_ can gossip if we want." Ibuki _and_ Leon stuck out their tongues to accompany the admonishment. "And you two, stop being gross children."  
  
«At least we're not repressed virgins.» Ibuki broke into laughter.  
  
"What did he say? Ibuki, I swear to god, what did your little boyfriend say..."  
  
"Maizono! Mioda! Kuwata!"  
  
The trio turned in shock at the booming voice coming from the large, stern figure bursting through the door. A rather displeased looking Mukuro followed the blonde man, mouthing apologies to the terrified looking first years in the corner.  
  
"B-Byakuya, hi! You're boisterous toda--"  
  
"The book, Maizono."  
  
"Okay, okay," Sayaka said, taking it from Leon's now rather limp grasp. "No need to yell like you're a teacher or something..."  
  
"So this is the other one, hmm?" he said, eyes darting over the pages. He flipped quickly to the back of the book. "Hm, so I do live through this one. Though I can't say I'm at all happy with the fact she kept me...hm. Mukuro, what do you have to say about your sister?"  
  
"Byakuya, are you really admonishing me?" The girl put her hands on her hips, glaring angrily. "Really. I came to both you and Sayaka with _concern_ , and you act like I'm the one who should be punished. Not to mention I'm sure she and her band mates were just laughing it up..."  
  
"We're right here you know!"  
  
"Speak when spoken to, Maizono."  
  
"[Puriku](http://translate.google.com/#en/ja/%E3%83%97%E3%83%AA%E3%82%AF)," Ibuki sneered, giving Leon his turn to laugh.  
  
"Anyway, your sister really does need to be chided."  
  
"I know, I--"  
  
"Really. The time I was at that weight was a really sensitive time in my life."  
  
"--wanted to...what?"  
  
"I don't want people romanticizing eating disorders in their personal writings, especially when it has to do with me. I'm a person with feelings, after all."  
  
"You're...you're upset because she wrote you thin."  
  
"Anorexia is a serious issue, I'll have you know!" Byakuya slammed the notebook back on the table, causing the band to jump a little and Mukuro to let out a little whine. "It comes across from the second tome she found my recovery process a negative thing compared to in the past!"  
  
"Oh come on! She's probably jealous that you're more popular than her despite that...ah..."  
  
"Just say it. I gained weight. It's not a terrible thing."  
  
As the two argued, Leon carefully pulled the book back across the table. He gave Ibuki a quick peck on the cheek.  
  
"Hey, babe, get up."  
  
"Hm? Where are you going?" she whispered, scooting off of Leon's legs. He shuffled off the chair, letting her fall back onto the seat.   
  
"Where else? I was gonna go top up for Saturday's math exam, so I'm gonna go bring this bad boy to Kiyotaka. I'm sure he'll get a kick outta it."  
  
"Oh gosh," Ibuki giggled, and Sayaka grinned.  
  
"Spot me?" she asked, and Leon rolled his eyes.   
  
"Aww, and let our lovely singer's voice get ruined by smoke? No way, you'll be hoarse as Ibuki's crappy screamo shit in no time."   
  
Both girls screamed at him together, but as the arguing pair turned to glare at them, Leon was already running out the door laughing. Byakuya turned to follow him for a moment, then stopped and sighed in frustration.  
  
There was a pause, and blessed silence fill the air.   
  
"So..." Ibuki finally said slowly, "can I see the second book?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost published this Friday but I wanna keep this to a schedule haha sucks to be you guys  
> Anyway um as you see I make use of «guillemots» to show that characters are speaking English, which explains why they showed up last chapter too uh  
> Anyway no one will likely directly mention this in fic since all the chars have known each other 3+ years but in this "AU" Leon is Japanese-American and only moved to Japan a few years ago. He still screws up his speech a lil bit, but he's pretty good at it since he grew up in a pretty Japanese neighborhood.  
> On another note, Yasuhiro Hagakure is actually adopted from Central America, and was actually held back because the poor dear didn't speak Japanese well enough. As a result, he and Kiyotaka laughed their heads off when they met in their first year of highschool, because Hagakure babysat for him a couple years prior.  
> I may write a fic about that sometime.


	3. Round the Back Door

It was a normal day behind the dumpsters. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Kiyotaka Ishimaru was sitting behind his little salvaged school desk with a ledger and a lockbox on one side and a stack of homework on the other. Enforcement of proper study periods was essential, even when running a small medical services business behind a school.

This particular day he had _both_ his common companions half heatedly studying with him, for fear of his wrath should they say they'd rather go off with their own varied hobbies. "Diligence is the number one priority of a student," they were oft reminded. Not that either of them really planned on doing much after graduation, but the studious young man was quite enamored with the idea of them both having the grades to enter Tokyo University anyway.

Like that would happen.

"Hey, doctor!"

Kiyotaka looked up from his math book and smiled.

"Ah, Leon! Calculus help, I'm sure? You're just in luck. Grab a seat, we're in the middle of a study session." Mondo and Hagakure gave a slight groan in confirmation.

"Well, you're right for my reason to drop by the infirmary, but studying isn't what I had in mind."

"Now Leon. I run this establishment in order to keep my classmates on track to a bright and healthy future. I simply can't sell study aids to you if you turn down study partnerships."

Kiyotaka stopped as Leon dropped the pink notebook on his desk. His brows furrowed. "What's this?"

"This, dear sir, is  _the_ thing to read." Leon grinned, taking a seat on an old crate and sharing a fist bump with Mondo. Kiyotaka eyed the book, and opened it to the first page.

"'Let me introduce myself. My name is Naegi Makoto...' Oh, is this a little story about our class?" Kiyotaka beamed at the book. "Did Makoto write it?"

"Nah, that girl Junko. Makoto's sister."

"Miss Enoshima? Ah, interesting." Kiyotaka fell silent as he quickly read through the pages, every once in a while making a sound of acknowledgement of some emotion or another. "Oh, it seems she's quite the talented little storyteller!"

"Dude, are you serious? It's a story about all us killing each other."

"What?" Hagakure and Mondo said in simultaneous bewilderment.

"I know, it's such an interesting concept. Oh dear, poor Sayaka, she sounds so scared, having to swap rooms with Makoto. Their interest in maintaining school standards about single gendered sleeping arrangements is commendable."

"Wait, so we die in that book?" Hagakure asked Leon, looking frightened.

"You actually live through it, I think. I'm pretty sure I saw you doodled at the end of the book," Leon said, leaning back and staring at the sky.

"Ooo, pictures." Hagakure leaned over Kiyotaka's shoulder. "Aw, look at that little picture of Sayaka! She looks so cute!"

"She's been murdered!" Kiyotaka said cheerily, and Hagakure went pale.

"So do I live?" Mondo asked.

"Uh...hate to say it, dude, but you murdered Chihiro."

"What the fuck? Why would I kill her?" Mondo exclaimed, and Kiyotaka looked disappointed.

"Spoilers are not appreciated," he said. The other three stared at him for a moment in disgusted confusion.

"Oh, did you kill her, Leon? I think the code Sayaka left is your name!"

Silence.

"Anyway, yeah, you kill her, and get executed and shit."

"The fuck, she's like a bro--sister, sister, fuck. I wouldnt kill her, that's insane." Mondo got up from his makeshift seat. "I swear, I'm gonna find Enoshima and beat the shit outta her..."

"Woah, chill. I don't even think she knows Mukuro stole her books yet, man." Leon pulled him down, shaking his head. "No need to go breaking Captain Mental's neck yet."

"Why on Earth did I apparently think Sakura was male?" Kiyotaka said, still absentmindedly reading.

"Man, that girl has some serious issues," Hagakure said, shaking his head and leaning against the wall. Mondo huffed, looking as completely and utterly irritated as before.

A few minutes passed.

"Brother."

"Yes, brother?"

"When you're done reading that shit, give it to me." Leon was about to protest, but the deathglare Mondo shot him was enough to make the words shrivel in his throat.

"Let me guess. Going to bring it to Chihiro?"

"Yeah, of course. You fags may not want me to beat the shit out of that bitch, but if little sister says I should--"

"Now now," Kiyotaka said, snapping the book shut, "such language is detrimental to a school environment."

"Oh, thanks,  _mom,_ " Mondo said, rolling his eyes and snatching the book out of Kiyotaka's outstretched hand. "God, sometimes you're such a cock." He stood up, nodding to the three other boys. "So, I'm going to be heading out. See you fuckers tomorrow."

The others let out their little mumbled goodbyes as he went off. Leon scratched his beard absentmindedly.

"So...fill my prescription?" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So right you'll notice that I always use first names for characters in the narration, since most of these people are friends and call each other by first names. Last chapter Ibuki called Makoto "Naegi" because they don't hang much, and there's other instances like that between the two classes, but the narration is consistent.  
> This chapter you'll notice I don't use Yasuhiro for Hagakure. I don't like using Japanese terms when writing English dialogue since its kinda weeby, but the joke is everyone calls him Hagakure-dono because he's an old fart. Everyone else has San/Kun/Chan whatever no one curr  
> Also though not relevant tis chapter Celestia will be Celestia in narration cuz only Kiyotaka with his official documents would be dick enough to not call the lady by her chosen name.


	4. Pebbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's short; it's Fresher's Week and I'm volunteering and don't have much time to write. Extra long chapter next week with the Doujinsoft Circle to make up for it

Mondo wasn't the sort to knock on the door like a normal person. In bright daylight, he sat on the grass by Chihiro's house, throwing little pebbles up at her window and calling obscenities in hopes of getting her attention. It was a solid five minutes before her window finally slammed open and she glared down at her neighbor.

"What in god's name are you doing?" she snapped, only to have to dodge a leather book lobbed at her head. Her eyes narrowed as she shot a look behind her at the notebook and back at Mondo. "You butt, that could have hurt!"

"You know you love me."

"Shut up, big bro." Chihiro went into her room to pick up the book, looking at it. She didn't recognize the handwriting. Shouting over her shoulder, she asked what the book was.

"Some shit that may get a girl's ass kicked, and you know I don't ever kick lady asses," Mondo replied, causing Chihiro to raise an eyebrow.

"That bad, huh?" she asked, flipping it open and wrinkling her nose at the neon pink, purple, and blue text and doodles. "Oh gosh. Who the hell...Enoshima? Um, I think I know..." Her eyes went dark as she glared at the paper. "Wait, I know her. She was that one girl who yelled at me when I walked into gym class with Sakura and Aoi once from changing together. God, what the hell did she write?"

"You don't even need to read it now. I'm kicking her ass. Throw it back."

"No way, big brother. What the heckie is this..." she mumbled, flipping through the pages. She gasped about at the point she saw a detailed drawing of her own crucified corpse. The string of expletives she shrieked were enough to make mothers in Kyoto cover their childrens' ears.

"Come on, snuff book, now."

"No way. You can't scar a girl for life and then not let her show her doujin group." She stuck her tounge out. "Go to the front door. Hifumi and Touko are coming over in like half an hour. I'll let you take it home after they see it, so stop hanging out outside like a bum."

Rolling his eyes, Mondo got up and trudged off to obey her orders.


	5. Doujinsoft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is in a day late, whoops.
> 
> I'm thinking of swapping from weekly chapters to daily chunks, I think that may be easier on me? It'd be a bit like getting a few webcomic panels as opposed to getting like a chapter of a serial.

Mondo sat uncomfortably on the corner of Chihiro's bed as the girl's fingers quickly fluttered over the keyboard. He wasn't really looking forward to sitting through the little team meeting that was going on--jeez, he didn't want to have to deal with Glasses McGee's melodramatic scripts or comparing subtle lighting differences in Tubs' overly moe drawings. And when he bought his weirdly hot girlfriend along...agh, the Krautophile creeped him out a bit. The only one he sorta got along with was that beta tester broad, the one who he don't think he had ever seen _without_ a controller in her hands. At least she had shown him some kinda cool brawlers.

Chihiro, of course, just ignored his absent fidgeting. There was no talking any sort of patience into that guy, she had learned that easily over the fifteen or so years they had lived next to each other. He was sweet, really, but there was no really dealing with him. Just best to give him a cup of tea and tell him to sit quietly in the corner.

He really was remarkably good with orders.

It wasn't too long before sounds could be heard downstairs of Mrs. Fujisaki welcoming another person into the house, their feet making the stairs creak as they climbed up. The door opened, and Touko dropped her bag right inside the door.

"Ugh, it's been a nightmare at school, literary club ran over..." she paused, glaring daggers straight through Mondo's chest. "Chihiro. What is this _boy_ doing here."

"Polite little princess as ever, Fukawa."

"Bite me."

"In your dreams."

Chihiro sighed, spinning her chair away from her laptop.

"Are you two still fighting?" Chihiro asked, and Touko's lip curled up.

"Did you _hear_ what he said about my last literary submission?" she asked, and Mondo snorted.

"You mean that shitty faggy smut you dared to ask me for 'an inside opinion' on?"

"Well, excuse me for wanting an accurate research basis for my work!"

"Hey hey hey, why should I be able to give you an 'accurate research basis' for dudes banging on motorcycles?" Mondo asked irrately, and the girl merely replied by smiling and playing with her braids. Chihiro shook her head. 

"Really, you two. Stop acting like such children." 

"Tch, whatever. I just hope that Hifumi gets here sooner rather than later. He's not bringing Celestia today, by the way."

"Oh?" Touko asked, and Mondo sighed a bit with relief.

"Yeah, Bii-chan took her away for some sort of important...thing. I'm not sure what." Touko's eyes grew dark. "I don't know why she still hangs out with Bii-chan so much, it's not fair."

"Just ask Byakuya out if you love him so much," Chihiro sighed, and the other girl turned scarlet. 

"A-ah, I couldn't ask hi--"

"And  _who's_ sounding so moe today?" a cheery, high voice asked, and they turned to see Hifumi slide the door open. 

"Welcome home!" the girls chimed, making Mondo raise an eyebrow. What was this maid cafe shit.

The three team members quickly started chatting about the game, rambling about characters and archetypes and all sorts of jabber that the gangbanger couldn't care less about. It looked like Chiaki wasn't showing up either. Shame; unless she was giving a report she probably would've been worth talking to.

"Look, as much as I'd like to sit around and soak up your awesomeness, I  _really_ have to be going," Mondo said, getting off of the bed. "So can you take care of the fucking book so I can bugger off?" Chihiro made a little sound of forgetful acknowledgement as the other two looked at him quizically.

"Yeah, sorry." She looked at the other two with grave seriousness and picked up the notebook she had placed on the desk. Flipping it open to a page covered in doodles of knives and bears, she furrowed her brow. "Big brother is here for a reason. He brought this."

A shrill little noise came out of Hifumi, who almost fell out of his chair. Though alarm spread momentarily across Touko's face, she put her hand out to the book."

"May I...?"

"Ah...sure!"

Touko nodded her thanks, taking the book and leaning over so Hifumi could see it over her shoulder. Flipping backwards through it and scowling at mentions of her own name, she finally reached the first page.

"I thought so," she muttered. "It looked like Junko's handwriting."

"Oh? You know Enoshima pretty well then?" Chihiro asked, cocking her head. 

"You know, she's in the literary club." The other three turned to look at Touko, bewildered.

"She is?" Mondo asked, and she nodded.

"Yes. She's not the best of authors, but she tries, bless her. She was acting  _really_ on edge today, though. I wonder if it's because she knows the books are missing?"

A gloom passed over them. 

"Shit, that could be bad..." Mondo muttered.

"D-do you think she's going to do anything...rash?" Hifumi asked, and Touko bit her thumbnail.

"I don't think so, but...she doesn't seem like the most stable girl." A tiny snap as the nail broke. "It could turn out...not so good."

Chihiro flipped through the pages of the book, looking slightly pale when she came across a full-page illustration of her corpse.

"...well, tomorrow will be interesting."


	6. Psst sorry I'm behind

_OK so basically I'm packing for London cuz I'm going with my girlfriend to MCM Expo and I've been elected Publicity Officer for uni's LGBT club and I work on 2 other clubs and I have 3 projects and an essay and anyway  
_

I have bits and pieces of next chapter

Gomen

EDIT:

Hey check us out:

Anyway, back home, regular updating again soon.


	7. And back to business...

Ibuki grimaced at the book in her hands.

"What the heckie is this?" she asked, looking incredulously at the people sitting across from her.

The request to see the book meant that she was dragged to the room where the Enterprise Club was meeting, stuffy-suited people whom she normally wouldn't hang out with too much. Well, she sorta liked Byakuya, he was a nice guy. But Mukuro was usually sorta quiet, and Fuyuhiko was such a poo sometimes. Seriously, she didn't know how such a tiny guy could fit so much grumpy in him. Not that that mattered too much, really.

What mattered was the steaming volcano that was the club president, pacing in the side of the room, making the underclassmen overly nervous as they packed away their things to leave the club.

"That brat, running off with the other book..." he muttered, ignoring the guitarist's question. Mukuro looked more gently over at her.

"There's no real explanation for it other than a...overly creative imagination, I'm afraid," she said slowly, and Ibuki stuck her lower lip out in a pout.

"Why would she want Ibuki to die?" she asked, a slight wibble in her voice. "Ibuki always thought Junko was cute, liked her little ties, it's so mean of her to kill off Ibuki!"

"I'm honestly not sure there was that much rhyme or reason to how she wrote it, to be honest," Mukuro said, her eyes consistantly on the floor. "I think she probably just fancied it a good narrative."

"That's no excuse for her to make such fucking idiots of us in it," Fuyuhiko said, slamming a fist on the table. "I swear, that piece of garbage is the worst fucking thing, and if she ever sets one foot near my sister or my girlfriend..."

"I'm sure she has no ill will for Peko or Ui," Mukuro assured him, trying to pat his hand before he hissed and pulled it away.

"I'll believe that after I've...interrogated her."

"You sound like a real gangster sometimes, Fu."

"That's blatant hearsay," Fuyuhiko snapped. "I'm no more yakuza than that guy's a rich corporate bastard."

"I'll have you know I  _am_ the heir to a small modern ryokan chain."

"...okay, so I guess pointing out Mr. Fat Cat here isn't the best proof in my defence," he grumbled.

"I can assure you that he most definitly is not in a gang; he'd dress nicer if he was," a female voice said from the doorway. They all turned to see the slightly sweaty silver-haired girl in the doorway.

"Ah! Peko!" He seemed calmer seeing her. She sauntered into the room, giving the shorter boy a peck on the cheek before sitting down. "I rushed over from training when I got your text. This better have been worth it; Nekomaru's a busy guy, and I was lucky to be able to get some training time with him." Byakuya plucked the book from Ibuki's hands, illiciting an indignant yelp from the guitarist, and handed it over to Peko.

"It's not like you haven't read _far_ past your own death," he said, rolling his eyes. 

"So it is a hitlist, essentially?" Peko asked, glancing over the cover and wrinkling her nose. "Not sure I recognize the author's name. Certainly no one I couldn't smack around with a sword if she tried anything."

"I'd prefer you  _don't_ beat my sister," Mukuro said with a frown, and Peko nodded her head.

"Of course not, self defense or sport only. It's not like I'm some thug."

"You are in the book," Ibuki chirped.

"Oh? Seems like your reputation spread to me then, dear."

"Where the hell did people even start thinking I was some crim from, anyway..."

"No matter, Kuzu. Now, anyway. Let's take a little look at this and decide  _what_ to do about the lovely authoress."


	8. Cut To A Sexy Massage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joanie Dark is now taking commissions!  
> Payment is 1c/word in increments of 25 words; if I go over your wordcount, the extra is free.  
> [Consider commissioning](http://times-new-papa.tumblr.com/submit) or [donating](https://www.paypal.com/uk/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=d4fMPQxczifD5EpD7rSq9hQRRL_HcVRNZWpNtTN_a7yz6uUbSOgsBP72YSe&dispatch=5885d80a13c0db1f8e263663d3faee8def8934b92a630e40b7fef61ab7e9fe63) to the author!

"...and so she just ran off to meet him," Nekomaru finished, his face an expression of deep concern. The storytelling luckily did not detract from his ability to kneed his cousin's shoulders, as she purred underneath the large man straddling her back.

"That really is weird. Didn't she nag you to take time off training the track team this week to spar with her, too?" Akane asked, her eyes still peacefully closed.

"Yes, it seems weird. Normally she's so intent on beating the shit out of people, I wouldn't think she'd miss the chance to get even better at--"

"Oh gosh, yes, right there, huge knot," Akane interupted, and the burly teen started circling his thumbs more firmly in response. She seemed to lose the ability to speak for a moment before continuing. "It's not like she won't just go beat the shit out of a dummy when she goes home. I'm sure Shrimps called her over for some hot lovin' or something like that."

Nekomaru coughed uncomfortably, and Akane laughed.

"Speaking of that, how are things going with Mikan?"

"Let's not talk about that." Nekomaru dug his knuckles into Akane's back.

"Ow ow ow okay let off!" she laughed, still wincing in pain through the amusement. "I'll shut up. But one condition."

"Mm?"

"Spar with me instead of Peko Squared?"


	9. A Stitch In Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **  
> TW: Needle-related self harm. Skip ahead to Chapter 10 if you want to skip Komaeda being a freak of nature.**  
>  Also yes, everyone literally calls Nagito Ko. Not Ko-kun, Ko-san. No.  
>  _Ko._

By day four of The Notebook Incident, the soft chatter was starting to grow concerning Junko's literary work. Makoto wound up hearing from Sayaka and told Kyoko, Peko eventually sent her apologies to Nekomaru who went on to tell Sakura and Aoi, Sonia seemed to have discovered through some markedly dark and devilish ritual (aka Hagakure letting it slip) and went on to tell Kazuichi and Gundam. When all was said and done, Mukuro found herself faking sick and convincing her sister to do the same so that they wouldn't risk anyone else demanding to see the books she had barely managed to take back for herself.

However, while the "sickly" twins spent their day playing co-op and eating ice cream as good sisters do, life went on in the school.

Life, for Mondo Oowada, included Embroidery Club every Thursday.

Ah, Embroidery Club. It was the perfect club for him. The utter masculine energy that comes from writing inspirational quotes upon your gang-brother's coats. From cross-stitching [passive aggressive samplers](http://fuckyeahsubversivekawaii.tumblr.com/tagged/kawaii+graphics). From sewing cute bunny puppets.

Yes. The testosterone was flowing.

The worst thing about his chosen club, other than the unneccesary attention combined with possibly unwarrented fear that came from all of his admiring female underclassmen which at least gave him great Valentines chocolate, was the presence of Nagito Komaeda.

Ko did not know about the notebook. Everyone hushed up when he walked by. This, of course, was because while everyone thought the books were freakish and that Junko must be even more of one for writing them, people suspected she probably wouldn't do much more than try to mentally set the school on fire and cry in her room if the proverbial pig blood of everyone's notebook related tauntings fell on her.

Ko.

Ko would probably actually set it on fire.

And keep a couple of pieces of charcoal for his Enoshima Shrine.

So when Mondo saw the white-haired boy gazing at him almost lovingly across the table, absently doing a chain stitch along his left wrist, [he felt a million rabbits run over his grave](http://message.snopes.com/showpost.php?s=883585aab1662c91aa1726aca6ff6291&p=572209&postcount=1).

"So...tell me about my dear, sweet Junko."

"I...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me, Oowada."

"Nagito, I don't know what you mean."

"I hear everyone talk about precious Junko." He cooed, and Mondo couldn't help staring at a little red trickle where he accidentally pricked below his epidermis. "Now, if Junko did something, I have to know. I  _have_ to know everything about her."

Mondo stopped mid-kanji on the sleeve he was working on. Nope. Not doing this. Leaving.

"You'll have to ask someone else. I'm not getting into this with you."

"Mooondoooo, tell me. I need to know what amazing, hopeful thing she's done."

«No, Ko.» Jacket already in bag. Sorry, brother. You would get your jacket at a later date. "Ask Mikan or something. I think she's in the nurse's today."

Ko looked at his wrist blankly.

"Ah."

"You're fucking right, 'ah,' you weirdo." Bag on back. "Later, Ko. Thanks for ruining another perfectly good day, you piece of trash."

Ko moaned. Instant regret.

"RightokaygoingtoKiyotaka'sbye." Mondo made his way out of the room as quickly as possible. Komaeda looked back at his wrist and hummed to himself. He looked around; the underclassmen made no eye contact. A smile, a dismissal. Gathered stuff, walked out.

Ko trotted happily down the hall, not really paying attention to the needle he neglectfully left in his wrist. He looked about, smiling at people as he passed, only for them to speed up a bit.

He was mildly surprised when he saw Hajime at his locker. He ran up to his second-favorite yearmate, waving. With his left hand.

"Have you finally decided to join a club, Hajime?" he asked, and the other boy audibly sighed. He turned around to tell off the pale-haired creep, only to see a long line of dramatically red blood oozing in front of his face. What the he--actually no. No, he'd come to expect this of Ko. He doubted anyone would be truly surprised by now at it, really.

"Yeah, I have, Nagito," he said.

"Oh, good! I've been hoping and praying you'd finally fin--"

"It's the get-the-weirdo-to-the-fucking-doctor club," Hajime said, grabbing Ko's unwounded wrist. "Come on. We're going."

"What a coincidence! I'm in that club too!" Ko chirped happily. The right hand could be  _Hinata's._ "I was going to ask her about what queen Junko did." The left one belonged to  _her._

"Junko did a thing, then?"

"Didn't you hear all the whispers? I thought people just didn't tell me."

"No one tells me anything in this dumb school," Hinata said, shaking his head. The sooner he could dump the guy on Mikan, the better.

"--she said I was  _what,_ " the two heard as they approached the door to the infirmary. That was Mikan, alright. Someone was not happy. At all.

"Yeah, she has you all over both her and that Hinata kid," Aoi said as the two came in, while she sat perched on a cot and kicking a bandaged leg. She looked up at the sound of the two boys entering the room. "Oh, speak of the devil!"

Mikan turned to look at the two, an intense rage in her eyes. She stomped over to Hajime. 

"What have you been telling Enoshima."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't say that to me, there's no way you don't--"

"Mikan, Mikan, stop it!" Aoi said, laughing and hopping off the bed, then instantly wincing. "Ow. Sorry, Hinata. I was just telling her about the notebook, since Nekomaru didn't get a chance to tell her yet." 

"And  _you._ I bet you're in on it," Mikan said accusatorily towards Ko. He just smiled in confusion.

"Hold on. What notebook?" Hajime asked, stomping his foot to get some silence. Mikan harrumphed and looked at Aoi.

"...Have you not seen them?" she asked, and her eyes glimmered when she saw the looks of ignorance come back at her. "Oh! It's the big gossip, basically Enoshima wrote these books about--"

"Enoshima the tightlaced one or Enoshima the touchy one?"

"Enoshima Junko, anyway she wrote ab--"

"Oh, is this  _the thing_ Junko did?" 

"I'm trying to tell you! Anyway, she wrote about us all..." Aoi frowned. "Well, about us all killing each other. I guess it's not that happy gossip when you say the overarching theme outright..."

"What," Hajime said.

"Please tell me she killed  _me_ ," Ko said, far too breathily.

"I hope she did," Hajime muttered. 

Mikan turned to look Hajime over, before sighing and leaning back against a wall.

"Well, I'm guessing you  _didn't_ have anything to do with it from your flat reaction," she said, "but anyway, I'm not that upset. I mean, she's sorta weird, she hangs out with that guy," she pointed at Ko, "but there's no way it was much more than flights of fancy. It sounds like it played out like a really shitty Ace Attorney game or something. But what I won't forgive is that she wrote about me..." she grimaced, unable to go on. Aoi patted her on the back, and she exhaled. "Sorry. Anyway. Just...if you wind up getting to read it, please know that I do  _not_ want to enter any sort of illicit relationship with you, Hajime."

"What."

"Or Enoshima, for that matter."

"What."

"Wait she wrote  _you two_ together?" Ko exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air with such force the sewing needle flicked out of his wrist.

" _Jesus Christ Nagito you need a bandage what the everloving heck!"_

 _  
_As people started screeching, Hajime turned away, almost as if to look at a non existant camera for a reality TV show, or a Something Awful Let's Play.

"What."


	10. Action

Celestia Ludenberg looked to the ceiling, a wave of glory and pride washing over her as she stood needle straight, bound tight to a post in the middle of a number of cloth flames. Yes, as far as death scenes went, this burning was fantastic, beautiful, everything she ever could have wanted in a piece.

And then, the miniature firetruck screamed right past her, crashing into the wall.

Goddammit.

"No, no, no, Kazuichi, we can't have it being so messy!" Gundam exclaimed, jumping up from his seat in the front row of the auditorium. The pink boy popped out of the left wing, snarling.

"Look, there's only so much room on this stage to work with. Did you want me to actually crash it into the girl?"

"If it would have looked more like she'd actually die of it, yes!"

Celestia sighed and slouched in the ropes. Damn. You could never trust inter-club relations to ever go well.

"Hiyoko, can you untie me? I have a feeling those two are going to be fighting way too long before we can do another take of this." The blonde hopped up onto the stage to start fiddling with the knots.

"You looked practically godlike, Celestia," she chirped cheerfully. "Your violent death will be the best centerpiece to the Murderous Ballet."

"I know! Who would've thought one of our own classmates would write something so perfectly emotional for Performing Arts' culture festival presentation?"

"Yeah, we really need to thank that Junko broad." Hiyoko leaned against the pillar as Celestia pulled away from it, rubbing her wrists where the rope had cut into them. "Do you think those two know how queer they come across right now?"

Celestia glanced up to see the two yelling boys with faces inches apart and giggled to herself.

"Look at Gundam, he looks about ready to jump on Kazuichi." She smirked, putting a hand over her mouth.

"Has to ask in the robot freaks to our show to try to get his mack on," Hiyoko said out of the side of her mouth, far from amused. Maybe if they'd just break their damn sexual tension, they'd have less issues pulling the show together rather than fighting over it. "So how's the post? I'm not really looking forward to my turn to be tied to it."

"I have to say, it's interesting being on  _that_ side of the ropes."

"Don't need to know about you and Hifumi's antics, thanks."

"Actually, that was more Byakuya's thing," Celestia said with a little smile, cheeks going red as Hiyoko practically shrieked in amusement.

"Oh my god, so Mister Bossy Know-It-All himself likes to..."

"Yup, tighter the better."

" _Oh my god._ You made my day. I'm going to tease the heck outta little [Koton](http://translate.google.com/#ja/en/%E5%AD%90%E8%B1%9A)." _  
_

"Oh don't, you'll embarrass him far too much." The sadistic glint of the joy of humiliation couldn't be hidden from Celestia's eye.

"...and for the last time, I can  _not_ make the Mechazawa have real laser beams, the club would lose all it's funding!" Kazuichi snarled loudly, and the girls looked over to see the two boys practically embracing with angry hands on shoulders.

The laughter was uncontainable.


	11. Planning at Cafe Hanamura

The female students who found themselves not busying themselves in strange cultish clubs had different plans for the day than glorifying the strange pigtailed girl's gorefest of a creative writing piece. Rather, a small group of classmates were gathered at a local restraunt manned by their own classmate's family, tapping their fingers against the table and muttering with concern.

Teruteru came to the table with a tray of tapioca-filled tea and slid into the booth next to Mahiru. Plucking the short strawberry slush off the tray and licking the straw, he grinned. 

"So, what do I have the privilege of having all you lovely ladies in here together today for?" he asked, winking and taking a sip of the sugary beverage as the other drinkless people took theirs in turn.

"We've all come here to plan what to do about Junko," Touko said, glaring at no one in particular. Simply looking into the void, hoping far away under her blankets Pinkie McGee had the distinct feeling of daggers going through her heart. Teruteru nodded sagely.

"Oh, yeah, the notebooks. Have to say, they really did paint me in a bad light. I mean, is my accent that bad?"

"You...you were the first murderer. How is your concern--"

"Yeah yeah, that was utter poop though. I wouldn't kill no one no how. But  _is my accent that bad._ "

 "That's not important right now." Touko's frustration was seeming to form some sort of solid form around her, making Chiaki take her eyes off her game for a second to look up at her in concern and scoot away slightly. "Yes, she butchered reputations. I think  _I_ can take even more claim than a lot of the other people in our classes to that. But more importantly, she butchered  _literature._ "

"Junko also seems to be dangerously interested in the idea of us all dying, my dear Touko," Sakura said sagely, placing her coconut milk back on the table and tenting her fingers. "I think we should be more concerned with the poor girl's state of mind than her ability to write to your incredibly high standards."

A camera flashed, and everyone glared at Mahiru in differing levels of confusion and annoyance.

"Oh come on, this meeting is  _very_ relavent to yearbook," she snarled. Sonia smiled in response.

"Well then, as the most diplomatically trained of all of us, may I suggest a, how you say, intervention?" Eyes all turned to the exchange student, and Touko put her straw to her lips.

"Go on."

"Ah, yes!" She looked incredibly cheery at the acceptance. "When someone suffers such a grave problem as Miss Junko, I think that it is best for all her friends and acquaintances to get together and express their concerns to her! We can go around telling her how much we are concerned, how we care, and how we just want to make everything better."

"That does seem like a good ide--" Kyouko said, but was interrupted.

"And then we can lay her on a tablet and sacrifice her to the elder gods!"

"...no, Sonia. No we can't. That is a very bad idea."

"I don't know, I like it," Chiaki said, powering off her Vita and putting it in her bag.

"Ah, Miss Chiaki! Are you going to join the Occult Club with Mister Hagakure and I?"

"Pfft, no, I'm sticking with Kazu in Robotics, sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I meant the intervention."

"It is a pretty logical idea. We can state our concerns and not scare her off by accusing her or whatnot. I do like it," Kyouko said, and the others nodded in agreement.

The door's bell jingled, and they all looked up to see a very non-imposing figure in the door.

"Sorry I'm late! I was helping Sayaka with some homework," Makoto said cheerily, only to freeze in place when Kyouko pointed a very accusatory finger in his direction.

"If you were so busy with  _her,_ call her so that she can arrange an intervention at the Enoshimas' with Mukuro," the girl stated in her cold, lawyerly voice. Makoto wasn't the only one to shiver at the table.

"Wh-what? Intervention?"

"Just call her already."


	12. Intervention, Pt 1

Junko Enoshima was a happy, beautiful girl, and none of her classmates truly understood.

I mean, she was just _perfect_. In _every_ way. Like, even more perfect than Mukuro. Her sister was _totally_ cool and all, but she just wasn’t…Junko, you know? Not anywhere near as fashionable and hip and radical. All the dumb Playstation trophy thingies in the world couldn’t make up for the fact Junko was just that much cooler.

And like, all her classmates weren’t even close to Mukuro’s level either, but they were clos _er_ , and that’s why they liked her more? Totally, yeah. Had to be it!

One day they’d all understand. And that’s, like, why she wrote these _totally_ cool Battle Royale style books about all her friends? Cuz like, Hunger Games didn’t have _shit_ on her friends. Everyone in school was so much better than that, and they needed something cool like them, right?

So when Mukuro opened the door to their house after they skipped school for the second day in a row to go shopping (did she mention she had the _coolest_ twin?) and saw like, most of the third year of highschool in their living room, she was so freaking confused.

“What…the fuck…is going on in here,” she said, her eyes dully scanning over the crowd. Mukuro smiled softly and patted her on the back, pulling her over to an empty chair.

“Have a seat, Miss Enoshima,” a burly man with salt and pepper hair

“Professor Kumasaka, like, what’s going on? I swear we were sick, honest, we weren’t skipping,” Junko said, sitting down and wincing. The man looked over at a chubby female teacher with pink and white rabbit clips in her hair.

“Now Miss Enoshima, we’re all here because we’re concerned,” Mr. Kumasaka said. “Myself, Mrs. Usami, and all your classmates and friends have gathered together to…have a little chat.” It was then that Junko noticed the two pink books with bright, looping letters and doodles on them in her teacher’s lap.

So much for a cool, awesome sister.

“Mukuro,” she purred quietly, patting the head of her sister who was now kneeling on the floor at her side, “how did our teacher get my books?”

Mukuro coughed and pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket with neat, precise writing lining it.

“My dearest sister,” she started, looking up at Junko with genuine concern, “I gathered everyone here because we love you, _I_ love you, and we don’t want anything bad to happen to you, or for you to do anything that will harm yourself or others.

“I don’t know if it was the ignoring…

_Wrong._

“…or the violent games…

_Projecting._

“…or what, but we want to see the root of your problem and make you feel better.”

Mukuro got up on her knees and gave Junko a long, awkward hug. As she pulled away, Mrs. Usami cleared her throat.

“Now, everyone is going to go around the circle and read a bit of something that we worked on writing together in our classes today, and I want   you to listen and hear how much everyone loves you—“

“And doesn’t want to die.”

“Momoru!”

“What, Machiko? It’s not like they do,” the man said, looking honestly taken aback. The teacher shook her head.

“You can be ridiculous sometimes,” she sighed. “Brothers. Anyway, Miss Fukawa, I believe you had wanted to start.”

Touko stood from her point in the large crowd, where she had been leaning with suspicious intent on Byakuya’s left leg.

“Junko,” she started, not even glancing at her paper. It was evident she had been practicing her recital. “I’ve known you for the past three years, sat with you, helped you cultivate your writing into something beautiful. You have a talent that needs to develop and be shown to the world.

“It is not murder mysteries. That is all.”

She sat back down and subtly nuzzled the blonde boy’s leg. Mrs. Usami took a slow inhale of breath.

“Thank you…Miss Fukawa,” she said. “Mister Naegi, if you’d be happy to continue?”

The small boy looked cheerily up from where he sat, squished between his bestest childhood friend and his favouritist club companion.

“Sure!” he uncrumpled the little paper he had, and put his head directly down to read it. “Dear Junko you are a nice and sweet girl and everyone wants to be your friend and I don’t believe you’d actually kill anyone no one wants to kill their friends certainly not you I think you just need more friends to hang out with I will buy you a boba tea sometime sincerely Makoto.” He looked up and beamed at Junko.

It was…sweet. He was definitely a good choice for generic protagonist.

Before the teacher could say another word, Sayaka instantly went into talking.

“I love you too, honey, just like Makoto and Mukuro,” she said, not even going off of anything written. “I was actually the first one other than your sister to read your little book, and I want you to know that I thought you seemed very troubled and I’ll do everything in my power to make you feel happy and not want me to die first.”

“For all of the problems with the nosy one not wanting to be the first to die and taking gossip around the school like the trite woman she is, I have to add that I, too, care about you and will work with you however I can to get through your issues,” Kyouko said, speaking over and attempt of Sayaka’s to continue. The ex-idol glared at her, and the detective smirked in kind.

Before a fight could break loose, the circle thankfully continued with Byakuya clearing his throat and jabbing his shoes into the sides of the two girls in front of him, making Touko fall against his chair when he moved.

“Enoshima,” he said, voice laced with a business-like lack of enthusiasm, “the behaviours exhibited in your book are a matter of some psychological concern, more of which I’m sure our next speaker will continue on with, but I’d like you to know that we’re here for you and wish to support you. Should you need anything in your road to recovery, I’ll make sure Naegi deals with it.” He ignored the quiet protests of the ahoge boy and looked over towards the couple to his right.

It took a moment before Tsumiki looked back to Byakuya. She made a little questioning noise, and he nodded, making her wrinkle her nose.

“I’m not talking to her.”

“Miss Mikan, please, for the sake of the circle,” Mrs. Usami said gently. Tsumiki looked at her, then Junko.

“I don’t know why you’re sexually obsessed with me, but I hate you, your book, and your disgusting drawings.” The teachers were about to protest when Nekomaru piped up, petting the hair of the girl on his lap.

“She’s just a little upset, she does care about you,” he said, and Tsumiki scoffed. “But what you need to know is we care!” The flash of a trainer’s spirit caught in his eyes. “We all care! And we’ll make sure you’re perfect! You’re great! Nothing will ever be wrong and make you start killing people! We’ll train those thoughts right out of you!”

 _“Yeah!”_ Akane cried, jumping up and high fiving her cousin’s already outstretched hand. “We’re gonna pump you up! No time to murder when you’re getting built!”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah!”

“Mooooving on,” Mr. Kumasaka said, rolling his eyes. “If Miss Owari can sit down, we can continue with Mr. Hinata.”

“Ah?” Hajime said, looking up. “Oh, uh, yeah.” He opened his paper, eyes flitting between it and Junko. “Um, hey Junko. Thanks for making me not die, I guess. And giving me superpowers or something. But I don’t really care or whatever, so just know you can’t tell me to kill people because I’ll just flip you off and go home.”

He folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket. “Yeah. That’s about it. Ko, stop holding my arm.”

Nagito started vibrating with excitement. It was his turn. He got to say his piece. His tu—

“Right, so you have to think of a class like an engine,” Kazuichi started, and everyone groaned. “So you need all the parts to work together, to fire off and be able to make the machine run, or that sweet-ass [1957 Chevy](http://www.hubcaps.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/1957chevrolet210.jpg) isn’t going to run worth a damn. So basically, if you kill us, get all that weirdly bright pink motor oil all over the place, it hurts you too, you know? Totally does.”

“That is very true,” Gundam said with a sage nod.

“Shut the fuck up Tanaka you know shit about cars.”

“The dark lords know more than they let on, Kazui—“

“Don’t fucking use my first name, man, we aren’t on those terms…”

“Boys, boys! No fighting!” Sonia said, her gentle voice ringing. “We are here for Miss Junko!”

“S-sorry ma’am,” Kazuichi said, both boys going a little red in the face. Junko snorted.

“Anyway, Junko, know that I, Gundam Tanaka, and all the gods of destruction are on your side, and we highly intend on making sure that you are capable of dwelling in society much as us, lurking in humanity’s shadows.”

“Ah, yes! And should you ever choose to channel your powers into things truly capable of having dark glory, do not, how you say, lead an army to murder! Simply join the newly-forming occult club and we shall give you the powers of all the circles of hell!”

“…or we’d just eat gummy bears,” Hagakure said from across the circle.

“Yes! Or gummy bears!”

“Ignore those weirdos and let’s move on,” Leon said, winking at Sonia and making her giggle. The two boys fumed quietly. “Me and Ibuki, we’re both behind you like 110%.”

“Up to 11,” Ibuki chimed in, and he nodded.

“Twelve even. Don’t let Spın̈al Tap get you down.”

“Yeah, Leon and Ibuki want you happy and healthy and not killing people! We love you and we’ll hang out whenever!”

“Not Tuesday.”

“Why not Tuesday?” Ibuki asked, and Leon mumbled something, nodding his head towards Kiyotaka and then the teachers. A lightbulb went on in her head. “Ooooh! Not Tuesday. But any other day!”

“Thank you, Mr. Kuwata and Miss Mioda,” Mr. Kumasaka said as Mrs. Usami glanced at Kiyotaka and wrote something in a little notebook. “We’ll continue with—“

“Um, heyhey, guys,” Junko said, getting up slowly, “this is a blast, buuuuut I think I need to like, ollie outie for a bit? Need to get a drink like, pronto.” Before anyone could protest, she grabbed Mukuro’s wrist and gently pulled her up. “See? Even got the probation officer, I’m not gonna run, don’t worry. I’ll just go to the kitchen and be right back with one, two, three…uh, like a _ton_ of tea, okay?”

Some general sounds of approval and Junko left the room, only stopping to breath a huge sigh of relief when she was in the quiet of the kitchen.

Silence.

“Junko, I…”

“Stuff it, Mukuro, I don’t want to hear it right now. I still have half a dozen crazy people to listen to out there.”

“Fourteen, actually.”

“Shit, yeah. And whatever dumb stuff the teachers are going to say.” She flipped on the oversized hot water dispenser. “Are you gonna send me off to some camp for sociopaths or something? Am I gonna have to pull an [Alan](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs8OFo3QM7g)?”

“No, Junko, it’s nothing like that, I promise.”

“Fine, fine.” She started shuffling through the cabinet for cups. “But I swear, if you do send me off to the crazy home for that little fucking book? I’m going to find my own personal Mr. Chow and sic him on all your ungrateful butts. Most people would _dream_ of being in such quality fiction.”

“We all—wait, what?”

“Hey, jasmine or oolong?”

“Oh, oolong, but—“

“Cool, we’re making everyone else come in for their tea. I’m sure not bringing out fifty billion cups to those bastards.” Junko rolled her eyes and poured some water into a cup. “Mm, warm enough. They might call the cops on me if I don’t get back in there. Shall we?”

She sauntered out, bag of cheap leaves bobbing in her cup, as her sister stared after her.

“O-Okay…”


	13. Intervention Pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I've been on holiday at my dad's in America, but I'm back in Scotland now, albeit crashing with my GF cuz I left my keys at home :I  
> Anyway, I've written this up with a borrowed keyboard, yay!  
> Also there is [now an official MHSL Komaeda Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/nagito.komaeda.315), so you should add him!

Junko walked back into the room, collapsing unceremoniously back into her chair and swirling her cup of tea.

“Right, I’m back. I didn’t fuu--run off anywhere, so I guess we can continue with this weird little party, huh?” She sniffed, then pointed at Mondo. “It was you next, right? I’m pretty sure it was your turn to say your little speech about why I shouldn’t write naughty stories or something like that.”

“Woman, I don’t give a fuck about what any of you weird-ass writers put on paper anymore,” he said, rolling his eyes as Kiyotaka let out a incredulous little screech.

“Brother! no cursing like that in front of teachers!”

“Ah, like Kumasaka gives a shit.” Before either could respond, he leaned toward Junko and pointed his hand. “Right, so the realest shit I can tell you is not that you shouldn’t write whatever the fuck crap you want to write. It’s never gonna be good anyway. Just don’t be a douche to, I don’t know, say my little sister, and I won’t knock your teeth in. Understand?”

“Golden.” Junko grinned. He was kinda hot when he was protective.

“Right. Did you have something to add, brother?” Mondo asked, turning to Kiyotaka. The other boy instantly sat bolt upright.

“Miss Enoshima Junko, it is my duty as a law abiding citizen--” Junko snorted, but he ignored her and continued on, “--and a maintainer of order who cares for the future of my classmates and my nation, to ensure that you are keeping on the straight and narrow path to goodness and righteousness. I will be keeping my eye on you.”

“Oh my stars, Mister Ishimaru,” Junko said, fanning herself, and Mrs. Usami interrupted before Kiyotaka could counter.

“Anyway. We’re running short on time,” she said, smiling apologetically at the boy. “If Miss Pekoyama would like to continue?”

Peko nodded, then looked at Fuyuhiko. They whispered quickly, before he produced a business card that she handed over respectfully to Junko.

“Should you ever decide to give Master Kuzuryuu a call,” she said calmly, and Junko took the card with a confused half smile.

“Dad is always looking for creative new recruits,” Fuyuhiko added with an affirmative nod. Kumasaka and Usami looked at each other, puzzled, as the rest of the kids murmured to each other.

“Was that--”

“That is all from Peko and I, Mrs. Usami.”

“Right, Mr. Yamada, might you have something less...suspicious to say?” Usami asked, writing more concerned little notes.

“Of course, ma’am! If Miss Ludenberg allows me to…?”

“You may proceed,” she said, patting his thigh softly.

“In that case…” he turned back towards Junko. “I can understand the appeal of the idea of writing the power trip, but surely there can be more constructive ways to channel your desires? If you’d like, I can show you some magical girls with situations relevant to your life, though I’ll refrain for now.” He smiled, shooting a quick and unsubtle glance towards Kazuichi.

“Thank you for your brevity,” Kumasaka said. “Miss Ludenberg?”

“I honestly have no comment,” Celestia said, folding her hands. “Honestly, if i were to kill someone? She was spot on. I instead offer kudos to her ability to peg me as a character. Good job, Junko.”

Hagakure scooted slightly away from Celestia when she motioned her turn speaking over to him.

“Uh, okay, well, hi girls, you both scare me and I’d rather not be here because I kind of don’t trust either of you, but yeah. Um. best wishes and rehabilitation and thanks for not killing me off I guess?” He looked desperately at Chihiro who was sitting next to him. She smiled brightly, giggled, and shot two middle fingers straight at Junko.

“Inappropriate behavior, Miss Fujisaki, but I suppose we can deal with that later. Miss Oogami, can you continue?”

“I do seem to think many of my classmates have already said a good deal of what there is to be said,” Sakura said, crossing her arms and looking into Junko’s eyes with pure intent, “but I should say that if there is anything I can do to help you with your situation, I and Aoi would be more than happy to support you, my dear.”

“Yeah, we’re both her for you! though I’m not sure why you had to volunteer me, Sakura…” Aoi chirped.

“As if you weren’t going to just tack your emotions on the end of hers, anyway,” Hiyoko said, lip pulled up in a bit of a sneer. “You are such a legume.”

“What?”

“You rely on a support, like a sweet pea or something.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh, shush. It’s sis’ turn.”

“Miss Saionji, didn’t you have anything to add?”

“Mrs. Usami. When was the last time you heard me tell someone something supportive.”

“...Miss Koizumi, go on.”

Mahiru nodded. “Ah, right. Hey, Junko, I’m not sure what led you to writing this...dreadful thing, sorry to say it, but I’m sure you’re a decent person deep down. So I have your back, just so you know.” She nodded over to the next boy.

“You know, Junko, I sure like my girls crazy,” Teruteru said with a wink. “Crazy girls are always the best ones, you know, so I may not want to be anywhere near a deep frier when you’re around, but you’ve still got my digits, right?”

“You know it, you charmer,” Junko said, giggling as he shot her double pistols. Everyone was silent for a moment.

“...I guess I’m last, huh?” Nanami asked, looking up from her PSP. She shrugged, pressed pause, and put the system down. “Well. Junko, I know I may not seem entirely human, but I assure you I am, and my sympathy script is fully running for you.”

"Thank you, Miss Nanami,” Kumasaka said, and then he let out a relieved sigh. And with that conclusion to the student affirmations, we can proceed with options to--"

"Wait! I never got to say my piece!" Ko said, jumping up and accidentally crushing Hajime's hand under his shoe. He giggled when the other boy punched his leg.

"Right, Mr. Komaeda then..." Mr. Kumasaka started, despite Mrs. Usami's "subtle" hand gestures of "no." Before anyone could say anything, Ko had practically charged across the circle and grabbed up Junko's left hand.

"I thought your story was fantastic," he gushed with enthusiasm, and Junko laughed nervously, pulling back in her chair and glancing at Mukuro. "Your plans were so perfect and beautiful and filled with such utter despair, and the chance for people to flourish within it. It was so amazing, exactly what I'd expect of you.

"And if you ever request it," he said, leaning in so his face was inches from hers, "I will gladly kill myself for you. Just like you wrote. I'd die for you."

No one could say anything due to the abject horror of the entire crowd, but luckily Junko had the functionality to jump backwards, knocking over her chair and shaking away from his hands.

"Oookay! I see the error of my ways now, no problem, never happening again," she said, looking around the group with a pained smile on her face. "Ahaha, yeah, I was super misguided! I promise it was all just for a laugh, I'd never do that stuff, please get him away from me now."

“Mis...ahaha, right, misguided! Of course, you didn’t mean to declare our new world order, that’s never going to happen,” Ko said, voice dripping in disturbing sarcasm.

“Seriously, sir, ma’am, get Nagito off of me.”

“Mr. Komaeda, sit down,” Kumasaka practically growled, making the boy shiver and finally let her go. “We will likely be talking to your parents later on this matter.2

“My parents died in an accident leaving me their for--”

“I met your parents last week at the art festival,” Mrs. Usami said.

“Oh, yeah.”

“You had the intervention for the wrong person,” Junko muttered.

“So anyway, to talk about our options…”


	14. Epilogue

The day Junko came back from her exile was surrounded by whispers and questioning.

_I heard she went to rehab._

_No, it was a correctional institution._

_Guys, guys, she totally was in the high security mental hospital._

_How do we send Ko there?_

_Aw man no, dude would cream himself being surrounded by people as crazy as him. Bad idea._

“You know I literally was just suspended for two days.” Junko tapped her foot on the ground. “When I told them after you guys got the heck out of my house about the fact, you know, it wasn’t a fucking hit list they didn’t send me off to mandatory counselor visits, which is all it was going to be if I was crazy.”

“Oh...hi, Junko,” was the same response she got from most people, mostly paired with a small antisocial behavior, be it a small scoot away or a subtle middle finger.

She sighed. Of course. There was an awful lot of damage control to do.

Still, she had hope to fix this school year. Hope things would get better, that everyone would be better friends after the trial.

Please no one tell Komaeda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there kids, thanks for reading! It's been nice having y'all around in the first chapter of Mundane High School Levels. And now, as The May Notebook Incident draws to a close, might i suggest you keep an eye on the next part, Hagakure's Happy Birthday, and in fact the fully-submitable collection [for MHSL?](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/MHSL)
> 
> _Hope_ to see you around!


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